Historians of the Age of Curtains,

I come to inform thee of stuff. Well, I say inform, I really mean say tell you things, I say tell, I really mean babble nonsense. In addition to the following message, I have published a photograph for the readers to admire, it features the base of Meall Gorm, a mountain that nearly might be a corbett but surely is at least a graham, this summit was conquered on a fateful day last year by an intrepid adventurer of limited faith ("there's no way we can conquer Craig Leachach (the taller mountain nearby) today, I've only brought 6 sandwiches, 2 packets of crisps, 3 bottles of lucozade, 2 litres of water and 4 bars of chocolate, we'll have to do this hill instead because the storm is approaching"), an adventurer of intermediate capabilities and a mountaineer with experiences of many past summits but at the time, of limited stamina.

Did you ever doubt a star? Upon looking at the night sky on a clear night for long enough, aeroplanes and helicopters may fly over, "shooting stars" may be visible (meteors the size of buses hit the upper atmosphere and burn up all the time, they say) and there are an array of stars in their constellations to gaze upon. Sometimes, a star will stand out for one reason or another - it may be brighter or more coloured or seem to emit weird plumes of light - and sooner or later, it no longer becomes a star but a UFO. It's still a star, hopefully, but its existence is more sinister in the mind of the observer. Occasionally, binoculars might be sought in order to clarify the situation, sometimes it is possible to see that the entity is one of the many satellites that orbit this planet - the panels on these bodies can sometimes be visible even with non-too-fancy binoculars. The UFO status can then be downgraded.

I saw an entity this evening which appeared to be a star, but it was very colourful, mostly green. It appeared to be shooting jets of light relatively long distances. I'd like to understand all phenomena that cause stars to appear like this and know if they are indeed stars. They could be planets, perhaps I should check which planets are currently visible in the Scottish skies.

Fife seems to have had a fine share of paranormal stories. Hardly ever a month goes by without a "big cat" story in the local paper, the latest one told of two big cats having been spotted by pupils on the school playing fields during the school day. The local paper also loves to commemorate the anniversary of the sightings of spacecraft and aliens in Kennoway which occurred in 1996 (http://www.truthseekers.freeserve.co.uk/truth/tr15malcolm.htm), but apparently there is evidence to suggest it was a hoax.

All I can say of my own personal experiences is that I once saw a weather balloon explode.