Bungling Politicos Foisting Grief,

The World Cup is upon us. It’s at times like this, I regret that the Scottish National Party are a bunch of idiots. Scotland could gain independence if they had some policies; aside from hoping for independence, their strategies consist solely of saying the opposite from what everyone else has said, no matter the issue, and personally, they all need to be dusted. As a result of independence, Scotland would have its own TV stations and wouldn’t have to tolerate the drivel that gushes from the English meedja during football coverage.

I have sensed, during the build-up to this World Cup, that there is a growing element of the English public who have finally realised that the English public behave like fools, especially when sport is concerned. Some of the England has indeed become sick of the English public being English but unfortunately, they form a small minority. I don’t specifically support the teams that play against England, but I won’t be supporting England, I have no reason to do so – their sportscasters are all imbeciles (I think the BBC should perhaps exchange John Simpson with Garth Crooks), their supporters inevitably resort to hooliganism and their players are arrogant. I can’t understand the racism the English meedja, and especially the BBC, exhibit towards Germany, there are 30 other teams that England must overcome to win the World Cup and WWII ended in 1945.

I’m not a fan of the Scottish team either; the Scottish Football Association is generally staffed by idiots with dubious agendas. I even laughed when the world’s greatest defender, Tom Boyd, scored an own-goal to kill any hope of Scotland achieving a famous result against Brazil in the opener of World Cup ’98 in France.

In the absence of Republic of Ireland and Denmark at the finals, I’ll be supporting USA, Spain and Australia. USA have always impressed me whenever I’ve seen them, they’ve developed into a really strong team since World Cup ’94 in USA. I like Spain because they always have two tricky wingers; traditional wingers are why football is referred to as “the beautiful game”, apart from Denmark, Spain were the only team practising this most pleasing system at the last World Cup. I’d like Australia to do well, the route by which they have to qualify for the finals is completely unjust – the top team in the Oceania qualifying group has then to enter into a play-off with a South American team to reach the final – and despite FIFA trying to project a spirit of fair play throughout the world game, they discriminate against the Oceania region, and it’s a real shame because Australia have a team that deserves to play at the highest level, thankfully this time, they’ve overcome the unreasonable play-off system. Finally, due to the fact the England fans loathe him, I’ll be supporting Bundesliga superstar, Owen Hargreaves.