Ruminative Huggers of the Coast,

The Fife Coastal Path: the coast was there before the path.

Recently, I’ve been bogged down with a glut of desk work. I can’t really handle being fixed to a desk with a computer in front of me for long. Reaching for the coast offers some respite. Some is not enough because the Fife Coastal Path has its perils.

During a recent lunch break, I drove along to Kingsbarns, a small village situated a short distance along the coast from St Andrews. It has a nice beach and it doesn’t appear to be an overly busy part of the coast. Arbitrarily, I followed the coastal path clockwise from the car park. Kingsbarns has a golf course; from the outset, it appears this course has clientele of a certain class. Almost all the groups I saw had a caddie, that doesn’t happen on the bog-standard courses around our way. If choosing not to walk along the beach (because not everyone likes sand), the path must be taken through the edge of the golf course. Now, I’d have thought that given the class of the golfers, I wouldn’t have to loiter, pretend disorientation and try to look like I’d lost the path as up ahead one of the golfers had chosen to relief himself on the path. Usually, walkers have to acknowledge other path users with a simple “Hiiiiii” or a nod; there is no documented etiquette for coping with rich urinating golfers. Once past the golf course, walkers are instructed to walk along the rocky beach to stay out of the mucky cow field – it’s always the cows. I felt that this stretch would be somewhat hard-going for older walkers. I continued on the rocky beach for a while before heading back, I hadn’t the time to walk to a proper destination. The danger posed to walkers by the golfers was confirmed on the return to the car; I waited patiently whilst one of the wealthy golfers went to the tee. She swung, smacked the ball, only for it to rebound off a tree straight back at her and those behind the tee (the caddy and I). They say the playing of golf is wasting a good walk; at Kingsbarns, it might not just be their own walks that they ruin.

Another stretch I undertook recently is from Kirkcaldy to Kinghorn. It’s a decent walk, one I do quite often (I sometimes used to get off the train one stop early and walk back into Kirkcaldy). There is a colony of seals that resides around the ruin of Seafield Tower, although they do suffer terrible abuse from the local neds. I trekked right through and onto Pettycur Bay, where I read for a while. Pettycur Bay is a small, secluded beach, a cliff provides shelter from prevailing westerlies. The problem I encountered on an afternoon where the temperature was 25 degrees C (blistering) was a local numpty. Despite the temperature, the first thing he did when he arrived on the beach with his brats, dogs and bags of glaur was start a fire.

I had never covered the distance from Anstruther to Crail, even though these are two good places (although Anstruther is deteriorating). At first, it’s a nice walk, it’s quite smooth with large stepping stones providing adequate means of traversing the marshy bits. However, walkers then stumble into cows – it’s always the cows. Cows are unreadable creatures. I don’t know if I can trust them, I don’t know if I can outrun them. As the path entered the field, the cows were all lying down, then, one got to its feet quickly and looked menacingly straight at us. We retreated. Instead of following the designated path through the cows, we headed onto the rocks and scaled our way around the final inlet into Crail, I suppose with a higher tide, this could have been much slippier or even impossible. There was no guarantee the rock traverse would have been successful as it was impossible to see what was around each inlet of the coast, it would have been mightily embarrassing to fail. A watching couple on the beach would have pointed and stared. Thankfully, the beach landing was completed. Crail is nice because the water bashes off the rocks there and makes a good sound. After a bottle of Lucozade and packet of Starbust Choozers (or whatever those great new things are called), the cows were faced head on for the return to Anstruther.

The Fife Coastal Path is great at times, but it has its dangers. Walkers should not expect it to be a path; they should be prepared for it to be a golf course, a cow field, a beach or even an A road. Sometimes, they must have the nerve to overcome cows. It’s anarchy out there.