Schemers and the Examplar Peace,

Everything is chemical, including the faces we pull and the blows we bear. The best way to escape is go where the air is thin.

This year of uncertainty goes on. My wondering may be perceived as worrying, I just consider all the permutations. I’m not in the mood for people. They make judgements, they forget and they don’t listen. I’m all too conscious of it.

Sometimes they create situations in which they can force the judgement they want to make. For example, at football, I played a good pass to someone, they didn’t react. They then dived into a desperate challenge in an attempt to retain possession. He screamed and limped off, claiming his ankle was wrecked forever. Five minutes later, he returned and played with a higher intensity than he had before. The whole episode was an act of theatre to cast dispersion on the pass and its giver.

Then there’s giving and receiving: I give comedy and professionalism.

A trek up the Lomond Hills provided minute relief. In truth, it was torture, medically and mentally. At the summit of East Lomond, when the gusts died down, the world was okay. The silence was awesome. I could have stayed there for ages but I was dragged off. I did not care for West Lomond, I went because the alternative was walking home and a black eye. Again, I wasn’t allowed to soak up the atmosphere at that summit and I still wonder why not.

Then there’s giving and receiving: the hills gave a black grouse.

They say charity begins at home. For some, charity stays at home. Others call charity up. If I have a worthy cause and I ask someone to donate to it, at some point in the future, I would have no qualms about donating to the cause they would like to support. In the end, if everyone donated to their own pursuit, the yield might be the same, but I disagree. Charity is about more than money, it’s an opportunity to raise awareness and generate interest. The chance that someone might display extraordinary generosity makes the time worthwhile.

Then there’s giving and receiving: I gave cakes.

Words can be twisted and it’s better not to say anything at all. In an earlier episode, I suggested that I felt my departure from yooni was natural. A week after I told someone that I don’t miss the yooni life, the cool kids are grumpy. The issue remains the same; nothing ever happens. The only thing they have to discuss is what happened. I think back to Del Amitri and it reminds me of my time in the cornershop, it was one customer’s favourite song and it is a regular of Scottish commercial radio. It’s not actually so bad, its lyrics are rather good. ‘Is it Del out of Del Amitri?’, he asks.

Now the traffic lights change to stop, when there's nothing to go
And by five o'clock everything's dead
And every third car is a cab
And ignorant people sleep in their beds
Like the doped white mice in the college lab
Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the song
And we all sing along like before

Then there’s giving and receiving: I received my protégé. I gave leadership. I gave more compromise than I should have.

Back then, the world was bigger. Now, it is much smaller but harder to understand. Trusting everyone and no one is the only way. And Hawkeye Pierce said to Winchester, ‘Time wounds all heels.’

Then there’s giving and receiving: I gave crankiness.