Cavillers from Incomprehension,

I rarely offer filum reviews on The Bellyaches, however, I recently asked someone what filum they were going to see. Their reply was muffled and I thought that I heard, ‘American Clive’. Here is the review that was omitted from the newspapers:

Filmed on location in Scotland, American Clive will surely prove to be the low-budget success of the year and make its directors’ grin widen. Those directors, already rejoicing in the knowledge that they’ve delivered the emotions of this crushing story to filum, now, only have to await the deluge of public adulation that is sure to follow.

American Clive tells the story of American Clive who faces a massive dilemma. American Clive’s life is thrown into chaos when she cannot remember the dream she had – that dream was the perfect screenplay and her life as a film-maker depended on it. The directors of American Clive perfectly convey the angst and frustration felt by American Clive as she waits for the memory of the dream to return. American Clive was gripped by the dream and, whilst unconscious, she decided everyone else would be too; she awoke and thought that she must write it all down. Unfortunately, she then decided that the dream was so vivid that it did not need documenting. In the morning, she remembered nothing.

After days of self-torture, American Clive is invited to become an astronaut, however, she sidelines the decision on space to sleep and retrieve the dream. Sitting upright in her bed for 24 hours a day, she stares into space, not the space that awaits her on a Russian rocket, but the space of the errant dream.

American Clive will have audiences in tears and be watched for generations to come as teachers across the country leave their classes in front of the DVD on the last day of term. Some stewdents may have brought in Gameboys or Ludo but American Clive will captivate all whose whiskers happen upon it.