Remote, 38p-richer, Moonstruck Peepers,

I felt I was beaten to the crunch over the discussion of Harbor yesterday and that I’d be as well to review this week’s East Fife Mail, at least it will keep the Danish Bellyaches massive in the loop.

The main issue this week is the need to capture a hit-and-run driver. Thankfully, the young girl survived, although she suffered horrible injuries. Police hope the man, who is described as local, will turn himself in.

I’m not condoning the crime and it is a serious issue. However, there’s always a ridiculous headline in the East Fife Mail, the offence is too serious for punnery, but at the same time, it's just rather poor. Don’t commit the crime and the headline won’t be needed. 200hours of community service was the punishment.

There was also a fire, the fire brigade dealt with it.

There was a correction; the East Fife Mail printed the wrong address of a man who stole some computers. I’m not sure why the apology is necessary, did a vigilante squad turn up with their baseball bats and flamethrowers at the wrong address?

Some sandals are for sale, so too are some ice skates.

There are some interesting jobs advertised - a position is available for a technical chemist. This seems rather upmarket for the East Fife Mail, but I’m wary of the type of chemistry that will be in practise. The other advert that caught my attention is an East Fife Mail classic.

Finally, the all-important tide times were announced.