Unenlightened Opinionists Testing Oddballs,

In my indefinite boredom, which occurs whilst I wait for those little atoms to do their thing, I was inspired to think about songs which use words which aren’t used in songs often. The best I could come up with was The Elements, which, as I found out, is by Tom Lehrer – that song that was on videos shown to us in chemistry class. I looked it up on YouTube, for old time’s sake. It’s a corker.

I also looked it up on EvilBay, I would not have been surprised if Tom’s records were worth loads but I was probably being over sentimental. However, they’re just worth normal amounts.

Those two paragraphs alone do not constitute an article worthy of The Bellyaches. I’ve not paid much attention to what CDs are lying around in the car of late and as a result, they’re either unsuitable for the journeys that I’m making or they’ve just been a bit overplayed, hence I had Radio McScotty on. I remember criticising Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Hour recently, that show is bettered if only slightly by Get it on, which is hosted by Bryan Burnett. Lisheners are invited to suggest songs for that evening’s theme, it’s an old person’s programme and they suggest cheesy classics. Tonight’s theme was “Elements of the Periodic Table”. There was Radio Ga Ga by Queen featuring Freddie MERCURY, GOLD by Spandau Ballet, Band of GOLD by Freda Payne, Fool’s GOLD by Stone Roses and some other stuff. The listeners weren’t terribly inventive and Bryan, himself, had forgotten to bring Silver Machine by Hawkwind. Al Istener, the legendary Radio McScotty contributor from Lumphinnans, got a shoutout. However, they played The Elements and it made me laugh. Something had to; the ignorance of science displayed by the lisheners was infuriating – steel, catalyst and metal are not elements.

I hate ignorance of science, it's my pet hate. I overheard someone who was extolling the virtues of Global Warming and suggesting that it would benefit Scotland, I put my headphones in and shut him out.