Nicitating Scenesters from Seamounts,

The crisis that Haptic Hare Hoarders from Holms were made aware of has been downgraded after stern words were spoken. They were spoken by a person just after they were on the phone to me so perhaps I can take credit for the outcome, that’s what scientists do.

The Canadian then went on to finally ruin my trainers; they were still doing me good service even though I had bought new ones as Collaters of Laments For Favourite Sneakers were informed. He was loaned them so he didn’t ruin his own good ones playing football with us.

I have done well to have him warm to me, “Why don’t you just get it off your chest? Everything’s cloak-and-dagger with you.”. He keeps talking politics. He keeps slating communism, I keep telling him that he has communism mixed up with dictatorship. There’s just no value to these conversations. And they are hard conversations.

Lab demonstrating wasn’t as good as usual, I didn’t need to do any demonstrating. I’ve always liked turning up for a shift and having to work hard.

Today, in the morning, I went to Embra to pick up tickets for a Jeffrey Lewis gig. I had a rake around the shops on Princes Street. This involves running a gauntlet of market researchers and charity workers.

“Would you be interested in helping out with some market research, sir?”
“I’m 23, from Fife, it’s raining and I want to buy an umbrella.”

I want to know where to buy umbrellas, umbrellas like old people have, big sticks with wooden handles. All they have around is “stowaway umbrellas”; what use are those for clubbing people? I finally managed to buy a golf umbrella for £2.39, Father will mock because it’s in East Fife colours. It has a spike and carries a bit of weight.

We are going for dinner tonight in honour of my grandparents’ 50^th wedding anniversary. The Earth has gone round the Sun 50 times since their wedding. They have no control over the Sun or the Earth.

What’s the point of the starter? It’s over too quickly. The menu tonight is not so great, the starters look nice; in fact, I’d be content with one of every starter.

It’ll be fine. What might be conceived as cynicism is only scientific pragmatism.