Bloody Servants of the Paradise Estate,

It has been a low-key weekend, it could have been so much more hairy but in truth, I needed the rest. As it was, perhaps I had too much rest.

I decided to retire from the Kirkcaldy Astroturf Sunday 7-a-side Football League. I didn’t mind being beaten every week, it was the manner in which we were defeated which broke me. A few weeks ago, we were beaten 5-1 and it was an enjoyable game because everyone tried and although the other team had more good players than us, my defence did well and we knew that the players further forward were trying if not succeeding. However, games like that were too few and last week, we were beaten 11-1. I can honestly say that I only made one mistake and even then, there were still plenty of opportunities for a team mate to clear the danger before the ball eventually went into our net. There was a 10 goal winning margin and the victors were not technically better than us. It was best to cut my losses, each game was so frustrating.

I wouldn’t mind playing football on grass again. Brother is touting a competitive comeback for me, he keeps saying, (I should hope jokingly), that is his team would benefit from my presence in defence. I’m good enough not to deserve to be mauled with that 7-a-side team each Sunday but I doubt that I could improve any 11-a-side league team, however bad they were. It would be nice to do a crunching slide tackle again, instead of just doing the crunching slide tackles that I do at the moment, which are illegal in 5-a-sides halls or on the Astroturf pitches.